6/7/2026 11:56
I woke up this morning and was met with a Snapchat notification about this:
Like… WHAT????
Excuse me?
The funny thing about trauma is I didn’t even remember this event. I remembered other times similar things happen. But this one? Specifically?? No. Gone from my memory.
It really makes me ANGRY. Like so angry that I am screaming about it from the rooftops. This got posted everywhere. I am no longer silent. I am not a victim of my childhood and adulthood any longer. I was 23 when this happened.
I regret not saving myself earlier but there is nothing I can do about that now but keep moving forward.
My mother touched me. My father touched me. My brother tried to unalive us. I was not safe, intrinsically. I was in a home environment I shouldn’t have been able to recover from. Fuck, I tried to unalive myself many times, I shouldn’t even be here at all.
I am just so angry that THIS is a thing I am having to heal from. From a mother who couldn’t care less about me. I didn’t even know what true motherly love was, but I do now. How? By nurturing my inner child. By loving her with all my heart. I couldn’t have that love growing up but that doesn’t mean she can’t have that love now. She is so deserving of all of the love in this world, and I give it to her daily.
Want to know what the crazy thing is? I am angry but I also know my egg donor had her own programs. She has her own issues. But that doesn’t make it easier to compartmentalize this. It doesn’t mean that it is okay. We are all presented with a choice to heal. She chose her path. I choose mine.
I choose peace.
I choose healing.
I choose loving myself and my inner child. I was never too hard to love, I’ve just been asking the wrong people.
I choose comfort and kindness towards myself and other humans.
If you’re reading this and you’re going through the same thing - healing from things that are unimaginable? I love you. You are doing amazing.
-Haley
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